Change of Tune

I find it funny that the thing which initially attracts us to our partner can become the thing which drives us away. For example, you may become attracted to someone who is quite flirtatious. It’s exciting and affirming when it’s directed at you and you develop a craving for more of it, so you start going steady with this person. You then expect that this naturally flirtatious partner of yours is only going to be flirtatious with you, but being flirtatious is in their nature so they continue to flirt with lots of other people.

This just won’t do. This doesn’t feel good anymore. It’s time to tell them they can no longer be the way they were, even though it’s what attracted you to them in the first place.

There’s a lot to be said for compromise in relationships, but there is an important difference between compromise and compliance, and it’s worth keeping an eye on.

Compromise is Win-Win. Compliance is Win-Lose.

If they do decide that they will change their behaviour to please you, that they will no longer portray the qualities that attracted you to them in the first place, what’s keeping you attracted to them now? Their compliance?

Is that the basis for a healthy, fulfilling relationship? No.

If a change needs to be made, let it be Win-Win.


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