I’ve just realised (or maybe re-realised) that my desire to control others’ behaviour is really my desire to feel positive emotion in myself.
Trying to achieve Happiness by controlling the behaviour of others is not a wise course of action as there is no guarantee of success. And since my emotions only exist inside my own body, the best place to work on them is there – in myself.
Thoughts provoke emotions. Perception attracts thoughts. Beliefs affect perception. So, one way to help ourselves to feel better is to work on our beliefs, which I have written about in depth in my article Believe it or Not.
Another way to have happier, healthier emotions is to fully feel the ones that are there when they arise. Let them flow and let them go. Dance them out of you. Paint them out of you. Talk them out of you.
There is nothing wrong with feeling any and all emotions. They are a part of our holy human experience, and to be wholly human we must fully feel them.
I came to this realisation after taking part in a Biodanza class in which the facilitator encouraged us to express whatever feelings we had through the dance. It was further inspired by my work with Non Personal Awareness, which reminds me that all of life naturally flows through us, and that is the way it is meant to be – a continuous flow.
But the actual “a-hah!” moment came when I caught myself wishing that someone I love would not contact people I don’t like. That moment of awareness, of being able to observe the machinations of the mind, was the spark that lit the fire of realisation.
Practice awareness and it may be your greatest teacher.