Relationships – Where do WE begin?

I touched on the subject of relationships in my last article, The Meaning of Life.  Writing that article now seems like a walk in the park compared to trying to explain what I’m completely immersed in in every moment of my life, yet may never fully understand in all of my lifetimes put together: Relationships.

I do know one thing: my wife is my Guru.  I didn’t realise it until well into our relationship but she was the catalyst for most of the issues that came up in me for healing.  That’s a nice way of putting it, compared to the words I used to describe her part in my process at the times they were occurring.

I do love her, and it was after a good friend of mine told me that having that kind of a relationship was more of a blessing than a curse (especially as we are so good at communicating our truth to each other that it always leads to a healing) that I decided to ask her to marry me.

We’re still “helping” each other to bring our issues to light (mental, physical and energetic blockages that seem ready to be cleared) and we’re getting better at recognising when something is my issue or hers or both of ours.  And if we don’t manage to clear an issue properly the first time it shows up, it’s always willing to show up again and again and again until we finally get it.

Recently while we were on holiday, Evi (my wife) became ill, which I found frustrating.  Then after wallowing in those feelings for a while, I became ill, which made me angry.  Then I became even more ill, which was when I noticed the pattern that was developing.  The more negative my thoughts and emotions were, the more physically ill my body became.

That was a lesson I thought I’d learned long ago.  I guess not. 

I’m still learning that the outside world of people and things is a reflection of our inner world of beliefs and perceptions.  Seek and ye shall find.  Ask and it is given.  Whatever you focus on, you’ll attract into your life in one form or another.

I’ve found that I also play a part in other people’s healing and issues.  Sometimes I find myself behaving in a way that doesn’t so much feel like “me” as what the person I’m interacting with expects me to be, as if their beliefs draw out certain aspects of my personality more than others.  They storm off feeling justified that what they believe about the world is true and I’m left standing there wondering what just happened.

I learned a big lesson about others being a mirror of ourselves recently when I got so annoyed at a friend’s behaviour that I wrote down every single thing that I thought he’d done “wrong” and emailed it to him.  Needless to say, he saw the situation differently, but whose truth was the true truth?  Is there such a thing?  Does it really matter?

As the situation progressed, I noticed that a lot of what I was criticising him about was actually behaviour that I myself exhibited in one form or another at one time or another, and the reason it annoyed me so much to see it in him was because I still hadn’t made peace with it in myself.  What a revelation!  It opened a valve and released so much pressure from my mind and my life.

Part of me wishes it didn’t have to happen the way that it did, but sometimes I don’t get the subtle hints.

One thing is for sure, you can’t control how someone else will feel when you do what you do, so you may as well go with your heart’s desire and take comfort in the fact that you’re being true to yourself.  If you do that, then others will respond in a way that brings you closer to your goal, even if it doesn’t appear that way at the time.

God (or whatever you want to call it) works in mysterious, wonderful ways; and you are God.  So, when it all comes down to it, your relationship with yourself is the most important one of all as that is the foundation for all of the other relationships in your world.

Me, Myself and I: the relationship between Mind, Body and Spirit.  It’s such a big topic it requires a whole article to itself.

For now, I’ll simply say, look to yourself when trying to find the answers as to why your world is the way it is, why your relationships are the way they are and who’s going to help you to make them even better.  We all live in our own little world as we all have a unique view of the world, an interpretation of events based on our beliefs (beliefs that affect manifestations that affirm beliefs and on and on and on).

You’re wonderful and I know you’re doing your best.

Life is here to be shared, that’s why there are so many of us.  Sometimes we forget that we’re all One having fun with the many manifestations of what we are.

Who do you want to be in your relationships with others?  It’s something to decide with each person in each moment.  It’s not hard, but it may seem complicated.  Love knows what to do in every moment, so if you live from love, from your heart and head combined, you can have it all for all to enjoy.

First published in Positive Life – Winter 2009

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